So I was a totally dedicated little blogger and while I was on my honeymoon I kept notes on things that happened and stories that I wanted to tell.
When I got home I lost that piece of paper. I knew it had to be in the house somewhere but to be honest its been really fucking hot in the last week and I had a lot of Masterchef to watch with Bonnie and I until now I couldn’t be arsed finding it.
Good news for the 5 people who read my ramblings (and especially to the lovely Jen who said she was looking forward to my next post, bless her cotton socks)…I found it.
So here is what I deemed suitable blog topics to expand upon when I returned from my honeymoon…
- Trying to get free things for being on honeymoon
- How much shit I have to do before I get into bed
- Obsessive Compulsive Tanning
- Nightmares and phobias
- Mosquito wrangler
- Fucked up trip to Phi Phi
- “I think I know what’s wrong…you’re not paddling as strong as me”
To be honest, because I only made notes they are a little hard to interpret and there are some “suggested topics” that I’m looking at and wondering what on earth I thought I could talk about, but I’ll expand on a few…Trying to get free things for being on honeymoon
In the first week of the honeymoon, no matter who we were speaking to, I managed to slip into the conversation that we were on our honeymoon. The problem was, that I was quite good at slipping the honeymoon into conversation, but not so great at pushing for free shit. I’ve never been upgraded on a plane before so I was really hoping for business class, but to no avail. We did however get upgraded to a lovely plunge pool suite (for a very cheap price after we moved out of our luxury pool villa) which unfortunately only had an outdoor shower and was not as mosquito-proof as I needed it to be.
This is why I ended up as the Mosquito wrangler.
I spent a considerable anount of energy worrying, thinking and obsessing about how to get rid of mosquitoes and how to stop them from biting me. My nightly ritual included double-checking all the doors and windows were closed as securely as possible, making sure there was a repellent coil burning outside to detract any mosquitoes, refilling the inside repellant and plugging it in to work its magic, rubbing Stingoes into any existing to bites to prevent scratching throughout the night, rubbing repellent into my ankles to stop any new bites and fluffing with the mosquito net to make sure we were covered.
Which, when coupled with the next topic…How much shit I have to do before I get into bed each evening…meant that I was preparing for bed sometimes for over 45 mins!
I have a ritual…a nightly ritual…well I have about 50 nightly rituals really.
I have to have clean feet; the sheets have to be pulled taut (don’t make the bed during the day, just make it at night to sleep in); brush teeth; clean face, use toner and apply face cream; drink of water by the bed; tablets ready for the morning; apply hand cream, foot cream and body cream; plug in phone and set alarm; check doors and windows are locked; fuss with pillows and adjust and readjust airconditioning and/or fan.
The problem is that I always think I am ready for bed and then I realise that I have forgotten something. If it is checking that all doors and windows are locked, Reece is already in bed and all the lights are out, then I have to send him. Same goes for walking through the darkened house to fetch a drink of water. I just can’t do it. Well not without turning on every single light in my path.
The problem is that I don’t generally ask him to go. I usually say something like “Damn, I forgot my glass of water” or “Did we lock the doors when we came in” and then leave it hanging there. Over the past few years he has learned to interpet this as…”I can’t do it because I’m scared like a 5 year old child, so can you please go and check the doors/fetch me a glass of water.”
It also means I spend the last 15 minutes before actually being ready for sleep saying over and over again, “I’m nearly ready for bed” or “damn, just forgot to apply eye cream”. I can only imagine how irritating I am.
I’m going to do a proper post on nightmares and phobias, because I think it is pretty interesting, so won’t cover it here. I’ll also bring back Travel Thursdays and use pictorial aids to illustrate exactly what I mean by Fucked up trip to Phi Phi and “I think I know what’s wrong…you’re not paddling as strong as me”.
But the question I have is this…what is your nightly ritual? Do you have one? Anything you absolutely have to do before you get into bed?